Dudes. Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ‘em.

A message to my fellow women.

Photo Credit: James Pond (Unsplash)

Hey woman,

By now, you’ve probably seen this panel, which has been making the rounds:

As you may or may not imagine, this panel got a bit beat up on social by both men and women. It then got canceled, and SJ issued the following statement:

Ugh.

While I might agree that the choice of panelists could have been better (there were valid call outs of some of their records on gender equality that were worth noting), this was a bold and forward-thinking move by SJ Magazine…. and they got shut down.

This is hard for me.

It reminds me of a GHC panel several years ago (I believe it was 2014) that had the likes of Blake Irving, then-CEO of GoDaddy, and several other male leaders in tech. They were talking about women in tech. The audience wasn’t welcoming and the panelists got criticized for their simplistic views on the issue.***

Three years later, Irving and GoDaddy have done an impressive turnaround of a brand that was in the gutter with women. He’s an active voice in the gender discussion, but he wasn’t given much of a chance then.

There are countless other examples of this, but one thing’s for sure. This needs to change.

A few things to think about:

1. Can we — women — think seriously about who we include or exclude from this conversation? IMHO, we can’t have this conversation without men involved, and we aren’t going to get anywhere if their involvement is simply sitting down and listening.
2. Can we — women — be patient, open and understanding of our male colleagues who may want to take part in this conversation but not know how? Can we be teachers? How would we want our husbands or sons or brothers or dads to be treated if they wanted to join this conversation?
3. Can we — women — separate the unacceptable actions of some from the well-intentioned actions of others? If we need to vent, let’s stick to the first group. Let’s be kind to the second group.
4. Can we — women — recognize that there are many men who want to do the right thing, and some of them are knowledgeable about issues of gender inequality? We need to give all of these men, knowledgable or not, a seat at the table.
5. Can we — women — make this a win-win situation? To me, this should go without question. But it’s difficult at present because the climate is harsh out there, fighting words are being thrown out on every side, and it feels like us vs. them. Push through that, and find ways to productively work on these big problems together.

We’ve spent centuries working to get a seat at the proverbial table. We can’t shut the door on collective conversation before we’re even there. Collective conversation and pulling together is the only way to do this.

Cheers,
Kate
@just_kate

[Small P.S. Everything I said above goes for brands too.]

***A note: The reaction to this GHC panel and GoDaddy at that time was single-handedly the conscious moment at which I became a stalwart for the voices of men and brands who want to do better…. but that’s another story for another day.